Wheel of Misfortune
by caalsio
Summary: I got the idea for this fic one day, watching Wheel of Fortune, thinking, *"I wonder what would happen if Duo was on the show."* Then I added other contestants and dun da dunn


WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE

DISCLAIMER:I do not own any of the following shows:Gundam Wing, Tenchi Muyo, Outlaw Star or Wheel of Fortune.I don't own Jeremy either [although I wish I did.. ha ha j/k Raberba Girl]if you're wondering who he is, ask her!! Well ENJOY!!!

WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE

"Okay…I'd like to introduce our contestants for today… First we have Mr. Duo Maxwell."

"That's me!!"

"And it's says that you're a pilot!What do you fly?"

"My Gundam…"

"Gun-dam?"

"Yeah.Deathscythe!Whoo!LOVE YA BUDDY!!"

"So… where are you from?"

"L-2 colony."

Pat made a nervous face, "Okay then, let's move on, shall we?What's your name?"

"I'm Ryoko Masaki and I'm married to that wonderful hunk sitting over there!"*points to Tenchi and waves*"HI HONEY!!"Tenchi returned a nervous wave.

"Hey you!You are NOT Tenchi's wife!How dare you say such things!" Ayeka started yelling from her seat.Sasami pleaded with her to sit down.

"Oh shut up princess!Don't make me come up there!!"

"Please, we need to get on with the show! Ladies, settle this later!"

Ryoko sat down, "Alright fine…"

"So, Ryoko what do you do?"

"I'm a space pirate, I steal stuff."

"I-Is that so?" Pat walks over to some security people and whispers."Is everything put away in a safe place?Who let in these people?I don't trust them, and the last one looks even weirder…"

"I HEARD THAT!!"

Pat chuckled nervously and loosened his collar. "So!We've finally come down to our last player for tonight!Tell the people who you are…"

The girl jumped on the table thingy.[I'm not sure what it's called…] ^.^;

"I am Aisha Clan-Clan of the CtarlCtarl Empire!I am Ambassador and I'm here to get rich!!"

"Hey!!"more yells came from the audience, "What about us?!?""Yeah!I thought you said you would share!!"

"Okay!Okay!Don't worry Gene, Jim, you'll get something…"

Pat interrupted, "Uhh…can we start now?And do you mind getting down?"Aisha listened and sat back down.

He heaved a sigh and continued."Alright, Duo?"

"Yes?!?" he said excitedly.

"You won the toss-up, so you will get to go first.The category is: Household Items."

[little jingling sound(doodley doo)]

*Duo spins*"Whee!!"it stops.

"$400"

"P!"

"Yes!There are two P's!" 

"Okay, Pat, I'd like to buy a verb."

"No, you can't but a verb.What are you talking about?"

"Oh, okay, Q!"

"You have to spin first!!"

"OKAY!!"*spins*[lands on bankrupt] 

"Q!"

"You can't chose a letter!You landed on 'bankrupt'!"

"Alright then… I'd like to buy a vowel."

"You don't have any MONEY!!!"

"Oh…"

"Let's move on then, shall we?Ryoko?"

"All right…"*spins*

"$600."

"How 'bout a 'T' for my Tenchi?!"she said witha giggle.

"All right, there is one 'T'." 

"I'd like to buy a vowel, 'E'?"

"There are threee 'E's!"

"LIKE 'E'!AS IN EISHA!!"someone shouted from the audience.

"JEMMIE!SIT DOWN!!" a girl [who's name just happens to be 'girl'] persuaded him to sit back down.

*Ryoko spins*"Alright!! $1000!! I'd like an 'N' please."[can you tell what she's spelling??]

"Well… there is one 'N'.Spin again?"

"Uh-huh." *spins* *$200*"'C'!!"

"Two 'C's." *spins* *$700*

"An 'H'!!"

"Okay… two 'H's.Very nice Ryoko."

"Of course, what do you expect?" *spins & lands on "Loose A Turn"*"WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!!"Ryoko starts forming an energy weapon with her fist."Grrrrrrrr..aahhHHHH!!!"she points her hands up & blows a hole in the roof."Okay, I feel better."

Pat is acting extremely afraid, almost trembling."WellA-Aisha, it's your turn."

"Watch what a real Ctarl-Ctarl can do!"Aisha spins the wheel and it almost flies off the pole.

In a reaction, Pat screams, afraid his career is a t stake if the wheel is broken, so he jumps on top of it.He spins uncontrollably and starts to feel nauseous.

"HEY!What are you doing?!?You're messing up my turn!!!" Aisha screamed at the host."GET OFF!!"She grabbed a hold of Pat and flung him off the wheel, colliding into Vanna White.The audience gasped in unison, then fell quiet.[view from the audience: see a "Gasp" sign blinking]A medical team rushed over to the two to make sure they were all right.Unfortunately, Vanna got a concussion, but Pat just had a little bump and some nausea.But he was determined to finish the show.

"Are you sure Mr. Sajak?" one of the medical assistants asked him as he helped him up.

"I HAVE NEVER MISSED OR STOPPED A SHOW!!" he stumbled a little, "AND THIS WILL BE NO DIFFERENT!!!"

The assistant took his hand off and sighed, "Whatever you say Mr. Sajak…" He rolled his eyes and went off with the rest of the ambulance team.

"C'MON!I WANNA FINISH MY TURN!!!" Aisha yelled.

Pat limped over to his stand, and suddenly a horrible thought ran through his head. *"Oh no!What'l lI do with out Vanna?!I need someone!!"*He slowly walked over to the edge of the stage and started yelling to the audience, "I need a replacement for Vanna White!Would someone like to volunteer?!"

Immediately, with a flash of light, someone appeared next to Pat.Pat looked, it was… a guy…If Pat was an anime, he would have been having a sweatdrop crisis about now.

"Uhh… _you_ want to touch the letter screens?"Pat weakly pointed a finger.The guy excitedly nodded his head."Alright then, …what's your name?" 

He massaged his right ear, a habit of his, while introducing himself."Hello, my name is Fred Lowe."He waved excitedly to people in the audience, "HI GENE!HI JIM!!"

They reacted by putting their hand in front of their faces. [the visor thing… you know]"We don't know him." They whispered.Melfina giggled.

"OKAY!!YOU GOT SOMEONE!!CAN WE GET ON WITH IT?!"Aisha slammed her hands on the stand.

"Oh yeah."Pat came back and Fred went to his station next to the board. "What did you land on?" Pat asked.Aisha became calm [sorta] again.

"I got $650, and I want a….hmm…'S'!"

"There are 4 'S's'!"Fred happily touched the screens.^_^

_"WHOO!!GO AISHA!!"_

_"I know what it is!!It's P-" _a hand covered Jeremy's mouth._"Jeremy, shut up!Don't make me take you outside!"_Jeremy sat back down thought of the answer to the puzzle and started to drool.

"Please, people in the audience, BE QUIET!!"Pat yelled, more directly to the loudest member of the crowd. [*coughJemmiecough*]

"I SPUN!!" Aisha became impatient again."I want an 'R'!!" 

"I'm sorry, there are no 'R's'"he explained nervously.

"WHAT?!?"

"Duo, it's your turn again."

"Alrighty, I get to spin now… right?"

Pat, at this point, was extremely annoyed and he spoke behind clenched teeth, "Yes, Duo… spin…"

"YAY!!"Duo span happily.

$3000[It was placed there after a while… they just wanted to get this game over with.]Duo jumped for joy, his meter-long braid followed as well.

*"He's not bad looking"* thought Ryoko before she got smacked in the face with the wild braid."HEY YOU!!WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!"she yanked the braid, making Duo fall.He got up, holding on to his beloved.

"I want an 'M' Pat."

"Okay, 2 'M's'."Pat replied."You earned $6000.You're in the lead!Spin or buy a vowel, Duo."

Ryoko and Aisha glared at Duo.It took Ryoko's whole turn to get her share and this guy taked it in one spin.She would never let this pass.

$250"'L'!" Ryoko and Aisha's stares grew stronger; sparks could have formed.

Duo stood staring at the puzzle for what seemed to be hours.The audience started to get restless.

"Uhh… Duo?"Pat tapped him on the shoulder.Duo jumped and was scared so much, he fell over.When he got up, he turned to Pat Sajak with a huge grin across his lips.

"Pat!I'd like to solve the puzzle!!"

Pat also formed a big smile and patted Duo on the back."Good, good!!"*"Thank god!!"*"What is it, Duo??"

"It's Peach Blossom Scented Shampoo!!!"

"YES!! IT IS!! YEAH!!!"

Balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling, although no one knows how that happened.Cheers roared from the audience, especially a certain section…

"ALRIGHT DUO!!!"

"WHOO!THAT'S OUR BOY!!"

"GO BRAIDED BAKA!!"

"BANZAI!!BANZAI !!! BANZAI!!!"

Duo stretched is arms in triumph, "YEAH!!!!"

Pat came over to Duo, "So, you won $6250!!!How do you feel?"

"$6250 richer!!"

Did you know you get to go on to the next round??"

"No way?!"Duo exclaimed in astonishment.

"Yes way…"Pat responded, nodding his head as he lead him over to the next round.

"WAIT A MINUTE!!!"Two angry [alien] women screamed from their posts.

"We only got one round!! ONE PUZZLE!!!"Aisha yelled from her stand.

"And Duo won…"Pat explained as calmly as possible."You get to keep what you've won."

"He's NOT going to get away with this…"Ryoko mumbled under her breath."I've got a plan to get back at that little….."

"I'll help you."Aisha responded, gritting her teeth.

"C'mon, I'll tell you what to do…"And with that, Ryoko and Aisha sneaked off-stage.

"I want 'Q'!"Duo shouted.

"Duo, there are only 'W', 'H', 'E', 'E', and 'L'… you can't pick 'Q'."Pat clarified calmly, tired of this day.

"Alright…" Duo whined, "ummmm.. then I want 'H'!For Heero!!BUT… I could pick 'W', for Wuffy…" Duo mused.

"WUFEI!! NOT 'WUFFY'!! YOU BRAIDED BAKA!!!"Wufei Chang screamed from the audience, ready to lunga at Duo from 20 rows up with his katana.

"…but I like Heero better, so, 'H'!"Duo finished.

"Good choice.This is the next puzzle.You get 'R', 'S', 'T', 'L', 'N', 'E' and you pick 3 more consonants and 1 vowel.Go ahead."

Fred turned the letters while Duo thought of what to use, "Uhh… 'Q', and…"but before Duo could finish picking even the second letter, there was a huge rumbling from backstage.The whole background fell over, revealing a large white tiger-like animal and a gigantic spaceship which had knocked off the ceiling.

"Aisha!!OH NO!!!"Jim yelled from their seats, running down to the stage.

"DON'T DO IT RYOKO!!!"Tenchi screamed, also making his way down to the scene with the rest of the Tenchi cast.

Aisha started rampaging on the stage, ripping everything apart.Ryoko phased in and out of Ryo-oh-ki, taking as much loot as possible before the out-of-control tiger-girl destroyed it.Even narrowly managing to collect the BMW Roadster to bribe Littleryoko to go back to Tanzanite. [*ahem* a mention of one of my other fics… may be posted at a later date]

"C'mon Tenchi!Let's go!!"Ryoko came over the pick up Tenchi and phase into Ryo-oh-ki, even picking up the others on the way out.

Everyone in the audience had evacuated by this time, except for the GW Boys, who sat calmly in their chairs, being used to this kind of chaos.But, of course, there was Quatre, who was running up and down the the aisles screaming, "No!!We shouldn't be fighting!!"

The people from Outlaw Star were trying their hardest to get Aisha out of beast form.Except for Suzuka, who sat on the front row drinking some tea.Suddenly Aisha reverted back to her normal form, "I'm hungryyyy…"she groaned.Jim chuckled, helping Aisha off of the ground, "Let's go get something to eat…"

"Gilliam!Come pick us up!Let's get off this God-forsaken planet!"Gene commanded into his little watch-like communicator.The XGP descended ion to the building and Gene and the others loaded in and took off.

Pat was staring unconsciously at everything.You could've touched him and he'd have tipped over like a statue.

Heero and the others walked down to retrieve Duo.

"C'mon Duo, let's get out of here." Trowa told him.

"Ooookay… but I wanted some money!!"Duo complained, slacking behind the others looking down and shuffling his feet.Under a piece of plaster, he found a dollar bill.He picked it up, then gasped, "HEY GUYS!!I GOT A DOLLAR!!"he ran to catch up with them and show off his buck.

The producers of Wheel of Fortune ran up to Pat Sajak."That was a great show!! We got the highest ratings ever!!Having and anime theme was the best idea we ever had!!We wanna do more shows like these!! So we signed up three more shows next week!!"

Pat Sajak gave a small, worried smile, then fainted.The producers just shrugged. 

THE END!!!

[ugh.. finally]

thank you thank you… I love you all… please review!!And go do Raberba Girl a favor and R&R her's too!!! =^.^=


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